Bus etickette

Queue nicely in bus stops that are designed like narrow tunnel systems with openings straight onto the road, with free sidewalks behind them. Let any exiting passengers get off in a timely fashion before you move onto the bus. Give correct money to the money hole by the bus driver, who won't give you anything back should you not have exact change. If you're not having a single ticket, you should say something. Otherwise, there is no need to talk to the person behind the glass. If you do talk, remember to say please, thank you!

Take ticket, printed from somewhere near you - it can come out in several places, keep your eyes peeled. Move towards some free seat, but not any of the priority ones. They are, according to the drawings, for people with walking sticks, children, a broken leg or similar afflictions. While moving through the bus, pretend to know what you are doing, show no fear. If you're really in the know, pick up a Metro. When getting closer to your destination, start preparing to leave. As soon as the bus leaves the stop before yours, get up, ring the stopper and move to the front of the bus, ready to get off. Try to remain standing while the bus starts and stops in traffic, and try to avoid swinging your bag in somebody's face or someone else's Metro as the bus turns a corner at high speed. When leaving the bus, make sure you thank the driver for getting you semi-safely to your destination. If you don't thank them, they are likely to drive past you next time you try to get on a bus. Actually, they may do that regardless. Or it could be that there is a secret sign to identify you as a potential passenger, not just somebody hanging out in an orderly queue at a bus stop. I just haven't found it yet, so buses tend to drive past from time to time.

During the two and a half years I lived in Dublin, I took the normal bus once, under friendly supervision. (I also bussed from Donegal to Belfast, and took the Aircoach several times. None of these count, you can just pretend to be a tourist, and there is no pressure to know any bus tickets or etiquettes.) The frightening circumstances of not knowing the many unwritten rules, with a total inability to decipher the bus routes and thus only being able to guess what bus would show up when and go where, proved too much for me. In Scotland necessity has proved to be a competent teacher, and as a public service to all of you: they are no longer unwritten rules, you can read them above and get on the public transport with no fear. (Unless you fear falling over on slippy floors after fast bus breaking - this is still a risk you have to live with, and happened to a poor woman on my bus only this morning.)

Oh, and the current adult ticket price is £1.20 for a single journey, £3.00 for a day ticket and you can get Ridacards for £15-£540 (from a week to a year).

Have a safe trip!